i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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