everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize