You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize