youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
