We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
