In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
