We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
