I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
