Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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