Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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