You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
