You really coming over, don't trick.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
