I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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