just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
