xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
jump out the window naked night went bad
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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