i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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