If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
