I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
