That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
