It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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