I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
