Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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