I wish life had little blips of pornography
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize