You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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