ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
