let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize