I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
don't judge my taste in strippers
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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