You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
