GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sobbing to NWA
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i out mim tonsoeep
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