That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
