Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
