His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
