My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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