so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
