He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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