i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
