I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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