I wish I could teleport
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
