I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
