and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
