Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
