Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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