HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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