The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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