I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
