it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
