today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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