In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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