You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
