Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
where does the pee come out of this thing
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
