so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
