spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
