**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
