i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
