The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
