It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
