office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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