who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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