i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
