If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
