arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You pole danced in your parka.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
