How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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