It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
