Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I smell like Dick and happiness
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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